Sunday, September 6, 2015

I'm Baaaacckk

Well, after a very long hiatus from this blog, and a couple month hiatus from Facebook, I'm back (on this blog at least).  I think I'm leaving Facebook for good - it started out as a just-for-the-summer decision, but I think it's going to be permanent.  I went back on FB today because I was going to post some vacation photos, but I was instantly reminded why I got off of it to begin with.  People are annoying and Facebook adds nothing good to my life.  I'm just going to have to quit being lazy and use this blog instead, even though it requires more effort.

A lot of things have happened since I've posted last.  A few really terrible things, the worst of which was the loss of my best friend and soulmate Lucy last April.  It's been over a year and I still feel lonely and lost and like I'm missing part of myself.  I don't think that feeling will ever go away.

Some good things have happened too.  I started a new job at the US Environmental Protection Agency, which I truly love.  I enjoy going to work every day, which was completely unimaginable previously.  We also have a new family member - Murphy!  I can't stay too sad looking at this goofy face every morning!


Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Really?

I haven't even been at work for 2 hours yet.  Haven't even finished my coffee.  I walk out my office door and guess what . . . MORE COOKIES.  And bagels.  And cream cheese.  I don't know how everyone in this office doesn't weigh 300 pounds.  This is ridiculous. 

But that's OK.  I have my super boring - I mean super yummy - greek yogurt and blueberries.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

My sugar's wearing off


A friend of mine is leaving our place of employment and this Friday is her last day.  In the past, she has made butter mochi and brought it in to share with the office, and it has turned into one of my very favorite things ever.  Yesterday, out of the kindness of her heart, she made me my very own tray of mochi and brought it to me, hugged me, and told me she couldn’t leave without making me some butter mochi.  So what did I do?  Proceeded to eat almost the entire tray in one day.  Not one or two pieces - almost the ENTIRE tray.  In less than eight hours.  BAD, BAD DANDELION.  At least I didn’t eat the chocolate cake that was brought out in the afternoon for someone else’s birthday.  Or the two plates of cookies that were sitting in front of me during a late afternoon meeting.  I was too full of mochi.

Why did I eat almost the entire tray at once?  Because I have no self-control.  Because I love mochi.  Because it is obviously better to just binge for one entire day instead of eating a small amount of something bad every day this week, right?  Right. 

Except I am paying for it today.  My sugar withdrawals are back in full effect.  There are still four pieces of mochi in my refrigerator and it is taking every ounce of self-control I can muster to not eat them.  In addition to the mochi in my fridge, there are two big trays of cookies, two bags of cookies, and a big tub of Jelly Belly jelly beans that have been sitting outside my office all day, which I have had to walk past at least twenty times. 

The day started out well.  I had Fage plain greek yogurt with blueberries and raspberries in it for breakfast.  It was delicious and filling and left me thinking “I can do this, no problem.”  However, not even six hours later, the day has deteriorated to the point that I am now applying copious amounts of vanilla buttercream flavored lip balm and licking it off my lips.  But at least I haven't eaten any cookies. 

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Day 4 - I actually feel human today

I didn't sleep very well because I was hungry.  But I did dream about bears and mooses and Montana again last night, for the 4th night in a row.  I woke up and it was cool, gray, rainy, and windy - perfect fall day in Seattle.  It was actually cold enough to put on socks and a cozy sweatshirt to curl up in and read a book and drink some morning coffee.   Other than that, I did pretty much nothing all day.  It was awesome. 

Right now I feel satisfyingly full for the first time since Wednesday.  Probably because I kind of cheated and had jasmine rice with my dinner.  But I am still within my allowable grams of everything in MFP, so it isn't really cheating, right?  Just not the most nutritious use of calories.  Is it bad that feeling full makes me feel guilty?  Probably, but I don't care.  My belly is happy right now and I have a delicious, healthy lunch ready to take to work with me tomorrow (compliments of my husband, who, as I mentioned before, is a saint). 

Oh yah, I also got my nose pierced last night.  I was craving sugar and couldn't have any, so I had to do something to distract myself.  Luckily for me, piercing is calorie-free!

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Day 3 - Better than Day 1

Well, I made it through my workout Thursday night, but not without a major meltdown.  I feel bad for my trainer (who I will refer to as D for now).  I think he might be afraid of me after Thursday night.  It was so bad he actually called me the next day to see if I was OK and to make some nutrition suggestions.  In the course of that meltdown we discovered that (1) I have major post-trip depression and (2) I need to find a new motivation for why I am doing this because I lack one right now.  I have accomplished my first couple of goals, and the only ones I have left currently seem unattainable and impossible to see actually happening, so they aren't providing motivation for me.  I also think that instead of a Pepsi, maybe I need a therapist.  I eventually made it through my work out and left the gym feeling somewhat better.  I ate dinner and went to bed before I could get hungry again.

Friday was a challenge -  I knew I was going to have to eat in restaurants for two meals in one day.  Very dangerous move in my fragile condition, but unavoidable.  I needed a plan.  Right after breakfast (while I wasn't hungry) I checked out the menus of each restaurant and planned what I was going to order in advance.  We ate lunch at La Lot, a Vietnamese restaurant.  I had salmon spring rolls with herbed fish sauce, which was absolutely delicious and surprisingly filling.  (PS - that is NOT my Vietnamese Iced Tea in the background.)



I was starving by the time we got home to get ready for dinner.  Angry hungry + free bread basket = nutrition disaster, so I ate an apple and some peanut butter before we left for the restaurant.  We went to Ivar's, where I managed to stick with my predetermined choice and order the seafood cocktail appetizer and a side salad as my dinner.  I was too hungry to take a picture of that before I ate it - sorry.  It was really delicious and filling.  I was grouchy when everyone else was drinking beer and eating cheesecake, but I survived.  Again, I was hungry when we got home, so I just went to bed.  Plus it was 11 pm - waaaay past my lame bedtime.

Saturday morning I woke up feeling totally shithouse.  Hungry, grouchy, depressed, having sugar withdrawals.  My wonderful husband made me eggs for breakfast and put up with my complaining.  He is a saint.  We had a discussion about my motivation problems, then I went to the gym.  D looked he didn't even want to ask how I was doing, but did anyway.  I had decided by that time that I needed to have a good work out so I said I was doing better (which was somewhat true).  I knew if I started talking about it again I was going to cry.  We talked briefly about my frustrations with MFP, and how an apple contains over half the amount of sugar it says I can have in an entire day.  He said I can eat as many apples a day as I want to and sadly, that cheered me up a lot.  I then had an AWESOME workout - the 45 minutes flew by!  We talked about some backpacking trips in the area, and D mentioned the Enchantments.  I have heard of them often, but never seen them.  He did a Google image search and when I saw the first picture I knew that was it.  Just like that we found my motivation!  


I'm still starving and really want a Pepsi, but I just picture the view of the Enchantments that D showed me and I choke down some vegetables and turkey and feel like it is worth it, at least for now.  So I feel a little better.  Plus, I saw a really funny website with dogs wearing pictures of signs of shame that totally made me laugh like I haven't for awhile and cheered me up.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Day 1 on my uphill path to healthiness

In an unprecedented breach of my own privacy, I am going to start writing about my daily struggles to get healthy.  I don't know why I am making this decision, other than I feel like venting about it might result in less pent up hostility and grouchiness on my part.  Plus I'm sure my husband and friends are going to get sick of hearing about it sooner or later.  I'm only about half way through Day 1 and I am already angry hungry, so who knows how long it will last, but here goes. 

Today is my first day entering my food into MyFitnessPal (hereinafter "MFP").  I love that you can use your phone to scan bar codes.  It makes tracking easier and increases the likelihood I will stick with it.  I hate that MFP has decided that I can only consume 1270 calories a day.  For real?  I consume over half of that for lunch every day at Jimmy John's.  Oops.  After writing that, I realize why I need MFP.  Ugh.

One more reason to "ugh" - it's only 6:20 pm and I have only 18 of my 1270 calories left for the day. That's right.  18.  If I even look at food I am going to exceed my calorie allotment for the day.  And I'm starving.  So starving that I am salivating right now because they are showing banana slugs on TV and they look just like bananas, which are delicious.  I would definitely punch someone for a banana right now.  That's how hungry I am.

How am I going to work out with the trainer in 25 minutes feeling as hungry and weak as I do right now??  I don't know.  I'll probably just pass out.   




Thursday, February 23, 2012

My faith in humankind - renewed and destroyed in less than 5 minutes

My faith in humankind was restored today on the bus - an unlikely location, I know.  I had just got on the bus, sat down, and started reading my book.  A guy got on at the next stop and sat near me.  He looked pretty down on his luck, maybe homeless.  He took out an expensive-looking cell phone and made a call.  He told the person who answered the phone that he had just found this cell phone, and asked if that person could tell him how to get in touch with whoever the phone belonged to.  "How nice," I thought to myself, a bit surprised.  I was surprised because a couple years ago someone tried to steal my cellphone right out of my hand at this same bus stop (my bus stop is in a not-so-nice area of downtown - basically an open-air drug market).  Plus people are generally just POSs these days, so I was quite surprised that someone was actually trying to return a cellphone they found on the bus, especially in this area.  It left me feeling optimistic - like maybe people aren't as bad as I think they are, and I actually felt kind of bad for the assumptions I make about people sometimes. 

My new-found optimism was immediately dashed.  As soon as the guy hung up the phone, two other guys sitting near me told him that he should keep the phone because it looked expensive.  The guy who found the phone said he would keep it, but he didn't know how to use it.  Then as he got up to get off the bus, he said to the two guys:  don't worry, he [the owner] will have to pay to get it back.  What a jerk.  There goes my renewed faith in humankind.

I love the Voodoos!

Can't wait until they are back in the US, playing in Seattle!  Here is a link to one of my favorite songs by them:  Restless.  Go check it out!

Friday, February 17, 2012

One reason I love the month of March

Shamrock milkshakes are finally out at McDonald's!


Oh how I love them, with their green, minty goodness!  I'm so excited they are finally here.  But, this means that it is now going to be a daily struggle for me to not get one every day.  You would think I learned my lesson after my seasonal binge on gingerbread lattes at Starbuck's this year.  I swear I gained at least five pounds in gingerbread latte weight.  I was drinking one every day, and sometimes two.  I can't help it - I wait ALL YEAR for them to come out!  Then, because I don't know how long they will be around, I just go crazy and get them every day.  I really think that calories, sugars, and fats shouldn't count when it comes to seasonal items.

PS - I just heard there are also SHAMROCK SUNDAES!!!

Saturday, January 21, 2012

The Adventurous Spirit

"So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future."

--- Chris McCandless, letter to a friend, taken from Into the Wild


This quote always makes me think about where I am in my life.  My future is about as secure as one's future can be, which is good in a responsible way.  But sometimes I think that secure future is stopping me from being really happy now, and squashing my adventurous spirit.  My job is OK - not my dream job, but OK.  Some days really suck, and other days are OK, but none are great.  So why do I keep this job?  Mostly because of the secure future - because of good retirement benefits, good health benefits, a decent salary, and a fairly large number of vacation days (compared to most private-sector jobs). Plus, I kind of sealed my fate by going to law school - I'm pretty much stuck in the legal world now.  I take some awesome vacations, but in between those times, I am not very satisfied with my daily routine.  I'm only 35 and I'm counting the days until retirement, when I can really have some fun.  I don't want to wait until 30 years to enjoy life - I want to enjoy it now! 

Ideally I would either have a job where I worked outside (like being a park ranger or a nature photographer or something), or I would own my own bookstore.  I have really been thinking about the bookstore thing, but people don't love books anymore.  Everyone has e-readers, and even big bookstores can't stay in business.  It would be cool to be a law school librarian, but that would require another degree, and there isn't a program for that around here.  Maybe I can just sell all my stuff and live in my tent.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Feeling a little rough this first morning of 2012?

If your New Year's Eve was anywhere near as fun as mine, you probably greeted the first morning of 2012 with a groan and a headache.  Luckily for us, I found this article, and thought today is the perfect time to share it:  12 Hangover Cures from Famous Heavy Drinkers.  Who knows how to cure a hangover better than some of my favorite writers, like Ernest Hemingway or William Faulkner??  But my favorite cure comes from Dean Martin:  "Stay drunk."

I'm not famous, but I'm going to share my own hangover cure.  I think it is pretty effective, and really easy.  When you wake up all dizzy at 5:00 am, with a raging headache and sick stomach, feeling like you might die, get out of bed, take a handful of advil, drink a 32-ounce bottle of G2, and go back to sleep.  When you wake up again, you should feel like a new person.  If you don't, move on to step 2.  Get out of bed and, still wearing your pajama pants, go to the nearest Irish pub (if you are in Seattle, I recommend the Celtic Swell on Alki).  Have an Irish coffee, with extra Jameson, and some waffle dogs (Irish sausage wrapped in waffle).  Follow that with another Irish coffee and a traditional Irish breakfast.  (As you can see, today was a step 2 day for me.)


You'll feel like a million bucks - or at least like you might not die. 

Happy 2012!

Saturday, December 31, 2011

2012 is going to be my year!

I think this is going to be my year.  2005 was pretty awesome - I graduated from law school, passed the bar exam, got engaged, and got married to the coolest guy around.  2012 has some pretty big shoes to fill.  But I think 2012 is going to be pretty amazing too.  12 is my favorite number.  This is the only "12" year that I am going to be alive for (god willing), so I'm going to have to make it an awesome one. 

I don't make resolutions, but I have adopted a motto for this year:


Yes, this is from a quotable magnet, and yes, it is kind of corny, but I really liked it and I feel like it really applies to me.  It made me realize that I tend to let my problems shape my life sometimes, and I don't want to do that anymore.  I'm going to change it up this year.

Happy New Year, and Happy 2012!

Monday, December 19, 2011

Having trouble deciding who to vote for?

Check out this quiz on ABC's website - the Match-o-Matic - find out which candidate is your perfect choice for the next POTUS.  Let me know who you get! 

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Ireland Day 8: Dublin

Today was one of my favorite days of the trip.  We woke up and went straight to the Old Jameson Distillery for a tour and whiskey tasting.  As you may have guessed, I had been look forward to this day since the trip was planned! 



Despite my high expectations, I was not disappointed.  I opened the front door and walked into heaven - a bar stocked with nothing but Jameson.  I'm never going back to America.



I loved the tour here, even though we couldn't see where they made the whiskey.  It was very educational, and our tour guide was so knowledgeable and passionate about whiskey, and the whiskey-making process, and he had a great personality.  After the tour, we got to do a whiskey tasting, comparing Scotch, American whiskey, and Irish whiskey (Jameson, of course).  The Irish whiskey was the best!  We even got diplomas, to prove we are now certified whiskey tasters.  We also got a free drink with Jameson in it - I tried cranberry and Jameson for the first time and, surprisingly, loved it!


After we were done, we got some free time to explore Dublin.  We decided to walk from the Old Jameson Distillery instead of take the van, so we could get out and see the city.  It was a bank holiday, so a lot of things weren't open.  We walked to Trinity College to see the Book of Kells, but the exhibit wasn't open.  The campus was beautiful though.


The Dublin Marathon was also being run that day.  It was pretty cool seeing everyone run through the streets of Dublin, and cheering them on.


It was a pretty rainy afternoon, but we put on our raincoats and continued walking the city.  We are from Seattle after all - a little rain doesn't ruin our day.  We went in search of Christ Church Cathedral, one of the oldest cathedrals in Dublin.  It is believed that the cathedral was founded sometime shortly after 1028. It's stunning, and too large to fit in one good shot, especially while trying to protect a camera from rain, but here is my rainy attempt:

During our search for Christ Church Cathedral, we came across St. Audoen's Church, which was also pretty amazing.  It is another quite old church in Dublin; it was built between 1181 and 1212.



We got hungry for lunch, and decided to check out the chipper that our driver, Paddy, had recommended.  Leo Burdock has been serving fish and chips to Dubliners since 1916.  It's a tiny little chipper, with barely room inside for two people to place their order.  They throw handfuls of french fries onto a sheet of paper, plop fish down on top, cover everything with salt, pepper, and vinegar, wrap it all up in paper, and put it into a paperbag.  There isn't anywhere to sit inside, so you have to stand outside and eat.  The only problem was that it started absolutely pouring on us.  We hunched down in the doorway of the pub next door and ate one of the best lunches I ever had.  (It is the little doorway to the right in the picture below - just enough space to stand and keep our fish and chips dry!)  If you look closely, you can see Joe in there ordering our fish and chips.



After we got done eating, we ducked into the pub next door, named the Lord Edward, to have a pint and wait out the rain.  It was such a cozy little place.  Here's a picture of where we sat to relax and wait out the rain.


The rain let up a little, so we decided to head back to the hotel to get ready for the night's festivities.  We came across Occupy Dublin on our way:



Today also happened to be Halloween, which the Irish take very seriously.  I think it is even more popular there than it is here.  We honored the occasion by going on a haunted tour of Dublin.  We snuck around outside Christ Church Cathedral, and ended up inside the gates of St. Audeon's, where we heard many ghost stories.  I think I even caught an orb on film, where the ghost of the Green Lady lives!  She is believed to be the ghost of Darkey Kelly, who was executed for the murder of her unborn child.


We finished the night with a pint in, fittingly, a bar named Darkey Kelly's.



Good night Dublin!  Have to get some sleep tonight - tomorrow is our last full day in the city.  Sad!

Dear Santa . . .

I'll make you a deal - if you leave these things under my tree, I'll leave you cookies, and promise to be good next year!

1.  Clarisonic Mia in turquoise or blue
2.  gift card to Home Depot so I can buy paint and stuff to make my reading room
3.  Aveda hand relief cream and foot relief cream gift set
4.  Earrings and/or necklace from Dotted Line Jewelry **
5.  books - pretty much any book, but one i want for sure is "the wolverine way"
6.  waterproof stuff sacks
7.  gradient lens for my camera
8.  espresso roast coffee from starbucks (whole beans)
9.  cute headbands and bobby pins
10. Sweet Vanilla perfume from Melvita


**I bought #4 for myself today at the Urban Craft Uprising - saw the perfect necklace and perfect earrings and had to buy them.  That's the only bad thing about buying stuff from local artists - it's pretty much all one-of-a-kind, and if you don't get it when you see it, you probably aren't going to get it.  At least that is my excuse for buying this for myself today!

One of my favorite Christmas songs

Thursday, December 1, 2011

I finally own artwork!

There is this wonderful painting hanging in the place where I go to get my facials (shameless plug:  Skin Care by Casey - Casey is the best!).  Every time I see it I just feel so happy and peaceful and serene.  I know that sounds corny, and I'm not normally the artsy, feely type (or the happy, peaceful, serene type either), but it really just has this effect on me.  The painting is of a big tree, with pink and reddish leaves, surround by grass and flowers and blue sky and clouds, and there is a girl with dark hair sitting under the tree, leaning against the trunk, reading a book.  If you know me at all, you know that if there is anything I love more than reading, it is reading while sitting in the grass under a tree.  Over a year has gone by, and every time I see it I have the same feeling, so I decided to finally buy it.  My plan is to take over one of the rooms in our house (the guest room?) and turn it into a reading room/my own personal sanctuary from the world.  Just me and my books and my dog and a big comfy chair to curl up in.  This painting was the inspiration for that idea and will hang on the wall in that room.  Sorry guests - you're out of luck - air mattresses in the living room for you from now on!     

Monday, November 28, 2011

Yoga - maybe it IS just for skinny chicks in spandex after all . . .

That is pretty much all the class was filled with.  I really did think there would be other normal people there, but no such luck.  The husband and I were the only two there who had never been to yoga before.  The class was packed to the brim with taut muscles and tight tank tops.  The floor was wall to wall mats and hippies.  Before class, everyone was curled up on their mats doing I'm not sure what.  I just kind of stood around awkwardly, then eventually sat down with my legs crossed and tried to be quiet and not look out of place.  When class started, I couldn't really see the instructor.  I was surrounded by people doing handstands and what appeared to be break-dancing moves of some sort.  Every once in a while I got a glimpse at the instructor and figured out what I was supposed to be doing.  If all else failed, I just did downward dog, because it seemed like eventually everyone else would end up there too.

Once class started, I didn't feel nearly as self-conscious as I thought I would.  I was concentrating so hard on not falling over that I didn't have time to worry about what anybody else was doing or if they were looking at me.  It was very challenging.

The good things about yoga so far:  (1) it is one heck of a work out.  After an hour and fifteen minutes of yoga, I am sore in places I forgot I had.  And it's not like I'm a total wuss - until three weeks ago I was working out with a trainer three times a week; and (2) it definitely gets your mind off of things - it takes so much concentration that there isn't room in your brain to think about anything else.

The bad things about yoga so far:  (1)  it is one heck of a work out (haha); and (2) there are a lot of people at yoga class, and I'm typically a loner, especially while working out.

I thought for a long time after I got home about whether I liked it or not.  I'm still not sure.  But I'll definitely go back and give it at least a few more tries.  I don't think I am ever going to be a "yoga person," or find my "zen" at yoga, but it is a fantastic work out!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Yoga - it's not just for skinny chicks in spandex anymore!

I'm going to my very first yoga class tomorrow.  This makes me nervous.  Well, actually, it scares the shit out of me.  Yoga intimidates me.  Or rather, its followers do.  They're all super-skinny, super-cute college girls with bouncing ponytails and perfectly coordinated, skin tight yoga pants and tank tops that flatter their already slim and trim figures. (You know, all of the things that I am not.)  They eat vegetables and tofu and soy.  (Instead of double cheeseburgers and pizza and beer.)  They are already experts at being all zen-like, and bending effortlessly into poses that I'm pretty sure will kill me if I try them. 

I realize that in reality,  people who practice yoga are probably not all like this.  Hopefully, a lot of them are just like me.  But in case they aren't, I'm dragging my husband along to the first class.  He has selflessly promised to be even worse than I am, so everyone stares at him instead of me.  Now that's love!